Freaky 4 miler...9 months later!

The night has always been a comfort zone for me.  People are sleeping, my creativity wakes up, and worst case scenarios creep in,  I get into my head and start overthinking everything.  The overthinking and anxiety depends on my monthly cycle.  I have found that a week from getting my period, I overthink like it's my job.   And, that is where I was last Friday night.  I couldn't sleep Friday night for many reasons.  I didn't want to oversleep as I felt this run was really important for me to do.  I was also thinking about finances and where I want to set up roots, and many other things.  My ego really challenged me.  I was nervous about this race for so many reasons.  Mostly, I didn't want to let myself down. And I didn't run much this year due to things like moving my entire life 1100 miles away! 

My hormones took over and I was totally irritated with everything..from not sleeping to my ipod not working properly and having to carry my phone (usually I have driven to races and left my big bulky dumb phone in the car BUT I took an Uber to reduce stress from parking and not knowing where I was going, so I needed to take my phone. ) At any rate I started the day irritated and with no sleep but I was determined to run this race.  I needed to show up and give my all.  Change is difficult for an introverted person like me but I've been adjusting pretty well to some serious changes this year and going with the flow.  Sometimes it gets overwhelming and I just want to stay in the comfort of my bed.

At any rate, I showed up not knowing anyone.  I was supposed to meet fellow Team Hammerhead triathletes for a picture and was excited to meet some new friends,  but I couldn't find them.   Usually, when I did a race in Ohio I would run into people I knew everywhere I turned,  but not here.  Of course, race day ritual...I couldn't poop but had to pee like a million times and each time the port-o-potty didn't have toilet paper. I hung out by the water and soaked up the amazing views and the perfect ocean breeze.    I was in the first wave for the 4 miler and I took off running when the time came.  At first, I was engulfed with cheap men's cologne.  Honestly, I don't know if it was cheap cologne it was just overwhelming and gave me an instant headache and I could taste it in my mouth.  Dear dudes, I would rather smell your body odor than cologne when running.  My goal for the first mile was to get away from cologne dude.  I succeeded.

My only expectations for this race was to show up and to finish.  I focused on my breath, my technique, and my thoughts.  When I run , my creativity and my anxiety come out to play.  It's a great challenge to stay present and one of the many reasons why I love running.  The course was pretty flat so I tried to soak in the views.  So many fellow runners were stopping to take pictures and such... I took mental pictures while racing and kept on running!  At some point as I was running down Ocean Drive...I reflected on when I was in the same place with my parents earlier this year..it looks different during the day!

I ran the entire time and felt strong.  When we turned around and started to run towards the finish line, we were on the boardwalk and you could see the ocean and the sun and it took my breath away.  I glanced to the left and saw the sun coming up over the calm ocean and said "whoa" in a bit of shock and surprise.   It took my breath away but it also filled me with gratitude.  I didn't stop to take pictures, I kept running.  I finished strong and after I crossed the finish line I kept going, but was walking.  I wanted to go back to the views.  I found South Point Pier and took pictures like a tourist.  It was at this point that I looked at my phone and saw the date.

I signed up for this run on Wednesday after getting my triathlon training plan from my coach.  I didn't pay attention to the date, just that it was Saturday.  When I looked down at my phone and saw the date, I again said, "whoa'.  Exactly 9 months ago I was down in Miami with my parents.  My goal was to run the Miami Half Marathon but my winter training didn't go as planned (something about not being about to train in the cold Ohio winters) but I ended up running the Tropical 5k on  Saturday January 27th.  After recognizing the date I decided to walk back to the Loew's hotel as I did back in January.  I took time to reflect on all that has happened since then and how much I changed....how much I evolved in just 9 months...It was like I was being reborn, becoming me.

I spoke to someone recently, she reminded me of all that I have done these last several months and that while I was thankful for everything, I wasn't really giving myself enough credit and gratitude for having the balls to move forward like I did.  Taking this walk back to where it began, I reflected on that and honored myself and felt great gratitude for me!

My time was 11:42....non-stop running.  Not bad for not really training.  I have my triathlon/ half marathon training plan and am looking forward to winter training for once! I'm really looking forward to the Miami Half Marathon in January and the Rite Aid Cleveland Half or Full in May!  It felt good to be running again and I wasn't as sore as I thought I would be, yay!