Blue's UnBashful Blog

Blue's UnBashful Blog

Thursday, December 31, 2015

A year in review 2015

Oh 2015, what can  I say?  It was a decent year.  I wanted to complete as many races as possible and survive my last year in politics.  I succeeded at both.  It was a great racing season with lots of bling.  I didn't have many PR's but I finished what I set out to do, less a few planned races at the end of the year. I had fun!  I learned how to SUP (Stand Up Paddle Board) and fell in love with this new activity!

Politics is not for me.  I like to accomplish things, be productive, and not wasteful.  I'm ethical, educated, experienced, and I have morals.  I can't kiss ass, won't conform, and complying with a status quo that is subpar is not something I want to do.  I don't have an ego that needs stroked.  As a citizen I'm disappointed to learn that ethics, sunshine law, common sense, data, facts, and so forth are not common themes in government nor are such practices that are followed. In fact, I'm pretty disgusted with Government operations.  We have the best system in the world, but it is seriously flawed and will continue to erode until serious action is taken across the board.  At any rate,  I accomplished what I could with little tools and little support.  Rather than just complaining, I stepped up to the plate and put my words into action.  It was a learning experience to say the least. Now I have a ton of information that I can put to use and help to educate citizens on local government, the local media fiasco, bias, and negligence, and the  general corruption in local politics....awe, I digress.  I have been burned out politically for a while, one can beat the head against a wall for so long before developing a massive headache. 

I focused all of my strength and effort to the last few months in office.  This took a lot out of me but I'm not a quitter and I wanted to insure that there were no loose ends.  I chose not to run for re-election for a variety of reasons.  First and foremost, I felt like I wasn't able to be as productive as I wanted, as I set out to do.  This was a result of being stonewalled and railroaded with just about everything.  The majority of council refused to communicate with me, bottom line.....sexism, ageism, "Flanigan"-ism, stubbornness and/or ignorance, whatever the reasoning it's moot now.    I also didn't feel comfortable staying in a position where my ethics and morals were compromised.  As Mayor,  I was in charge of departments per the Charter but I wasn't given the authority to implement changes, policies, and so forth that I felt were needed for the safety, well being, and success of the Village.  I feel that the position, Mayor, is a total waste of tax payer dollars when the council is obstinate, and there is no vote nor veto power by the Mayor.  The position turns out to be a scapegoat/ figurehead type position  and I'm not comfortable with that.  Running for re-election would have been strictly ego driven based on what happened over the last 4 years and I am not ok with that either as it's neither beneficial nor feasible for the Village.    Our local media is ridiculously biased, lacadasicle, and negligent.  They only reported when a story could be told to make me look bad.  I  ran for office with the strict intent to help the village in which I was born, raised, and living.  I don't need a title for my ego and the pay was mostly donated back to the community ($13,500 a year before taxes were deducted).  It was a tough decision but I made the right choice.  I need to be in a position where I can utilize my education, experience, knowledge, passion, and drive.  I have a lot to offer and being stuck in a position where my hands are tied is not something I want or need.  I'm looking forward to getting my voice back!

I was hanging out at home before my last council meeting going over everything that has happened over the last 4 years, almost in tears, and former Navy Seal, Christopher Mark Heben rang my door bell. I do not have the words to express how much this meant to me at the most perfect time that I needed it. It was a brief encounter that completely changed how I was feeling about the last 4years and about the future.  I was going to wrap up the year as down and out or I was going to be ready to reinvent myself;  I chose the latter.  He gave me the best pep talk ever. and I'm extremely thankful.  Wow. I am still speechless and I am enjoying his book, Undaunted.  It is a great read!  I'm looking forward to starting his Seal Team Challenge in 2016 as well. 

Furthermore, I was able to go swimming with Bruiser, #2 on my bucket list.  It was a blast and I will be doing it more in 2016.  I love my little furbaby so much. I'm looking forward to more Bruiser and Meg adventures in 2016.   I also became vegetarian in November.  Yep, I went from a meat lover to a vegetarian.  It took me a while to adjust to this way of life and my weight certainly suffered; but, I feel happy with my decision.     

The last quarter of 2015 included massive weight gain.  The last couple of months in office really took a toll on me and I stress ate like it was my job. In addition the stress hormone, cortisol, was bonkers.  Weight has always been an issue for me, I've always struggled with body image issues.  As a result  of this recent weight gain, I'm learning to love myself unconditionally and I reached the point where enough is enough with regards to my own body shaming. More on that issue later.   I look forward to shedding major pounds in a healthy way this new year.  I want to be in my best shape ever, for myself, my racing, and for my health!  Yes, I realize how "New Year's Resolution-y" that sounds and I don't care.   

"Enough is Enough", that short yet powerful sentence wraps up 2015.  Enough self abuse from myself, enough negativity, enough with being silenced, bullied, bullshitted, stymied, stonewalled, and stuck.  Enough!  I'm a very nice person and I was faced with many obstacles and battles.  I really had to pick and choose what to fight but in doing so, I feel that people underestimated me and treated me poorly, thinking that would be tolerated.  I let a lot slide.  I have no tolerance for disrespect, bullying, lying, being treated poorly.  I simply will not accept those behaviors and types of people in my life as I move forward.   Enough of that shit.  I have a lot to offer, I'm a great person, and I have a lot of awesome, badass, positive things to give back in this life and it will happen! 

I'm so excited for 2016.  It is going to be the most epic year yet! 

Cheers to Peace, Love, and M.F. Happiness <3

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