The holiday season can be a time full of stress, loneliness, sadness, financial burden, grumpiness, and worry. I'm finding this season to be particularly complete with all of the above. It is the first season without both of my Grandmas. Grandmas always remember to send cards and calls of love and support. It's the first season both siblings are in serious relationships and I'm the odd single girl out. I am also the oldest sibling and so I find myself wondering what's wrong with me and why I am still single. Holiday parties and gatherings are full of couples. I feel like I'm decorated in blinking lights standing out as the "still single girl". It has also been particularly difficult to shop for gifts as money is tight and my creativity is lacking. Many of my friends have lost loved ones this year, several classmates passed away way too soon, and it was just a tough year all around. The holidays can magnify negative feelings but I'm determined to make the best of it and I hope you do too!
Rather than focusing on the negative, I am choosing to do as many good deeds as possible. Helping a few friends out, sending out cards of appreciation to those who have been supportive and helpful, and being extra generous with kind words. I know that my Grandmas are watching over me and I'm thankful they both are no longer suffering; but, I want to honor their memories and legacies by acting in such a way that would make them proud. I also remind myself that my loved ones who are now alive and well will not be here forever and every moment must be cherished. Giving doesn't always have to be in the form of money or gifts, it can be helping out at parents' house, assisting with chores, and cooking, helping a neighbor, and most importantly being positive and happy when around others. Positive attitudes and smiles truly are contagious. The feeling of loneliness is a strong one; I'm at a place in my life where I am ready for a relationship. I never had a "healthy relationship" and at age 32, that is something that I am looking forward to. It's also not something that should be rushed and I believe that it will happen when the universe thinks it's time. I am so happy for my siblings' happiness and that they both have great partners to share their lives with during the holidays and in the future.
During this hectic time of year, remember that not everyone is filled with joy and cheer. Not everyone has a big family filled with celebrations. Random acts of kindness are great ways to spread compassion while you are out shopping and be sure your loved ones know how much you love them!
Merry Christmas to all and may your holiday season be one of Believing, Loving, Understanding, and Empowering.